How to free yourself from self-doubt: The enemy within

We often doubt ourselves and our capabilities. Self-doubt often happens when we fail at something we love doing or what is expected of us to do. But this is an enemy within us fighting with us. It’s often left up to us to decide whether we would continue to doubt ourselves or free ourselves from it.

In my previous articles, I talked about How to love yourself: 10 steps which are the basics you need to free yourself from self-doubt.

To start, I define self-doubt as an enemy which prevents an individual from having a lack of confidence in oneself and one’s abilities. The following steps are how you would free yourself from self-doubt.

Let yourself understand who you are

When you understand who you are, it makes it easier to for you to understand your personality, your likes and dislikes. One thing that would be of great help is that you should not compare yourself to others. you are you and not them. You can never be them. That is the same way they can never be you.  Yourself here is your looks, talents or whatever it is to that of others, You can not be like everyone else, You are unique in your own way.

Don’t be jealous

You as an individual should not be jealous of how confident someone or everyone is. Build yours and accept who you are. Everyone in their own way has their own insecurity however you would not know about from the outer appearance. How you treat people is a reflection of what you are dealing with on the inside. Should you be jealous of how someone else confidence based on another appearance, you put yourself at risk in doubt yourself thereby giving in to the enemy known as self-doubt. No one Thinks of the insecurities you have in your head since they cannot know what you think of unless you tell them. That is the reason no one can stop you other than yourself since you are dealing with the self-doubt.

Carry yourself higher when facing the enemy.

Self-doubt is something that occurs to everyone naturally because of how life takes us up and then brings us down. You are responsible for carrying yourself higher. Also you tell yourself you can do it even when you see no door or opportunity opened up for you. You do not have to move over because you lost a contract or something did not go well. Neither do you have to tell yourself something is impossible before setting out to start a new journey or an adventure? when you are hit and you fall, you do not stay but rather move to be of higher value, that is the same way you do not have to let self-doubt consume you. You the opposite thinking method.

Maintain your sense of identity

Anything that feels true or good to you.In other words be yourself . You do not have to listen to others. It can be either family or friends. these people are close to us they can make and unmake us depending on how we maintain our sense of identity. If you know yourself very well, you would know what to take and what to leave out. You would also know to advise would work best for you. If you lose your sense of identity, then the self-doubt will kick in, So you should maintain this all the time.

Own 100% of yourself despite not fitting into society.

You do not have to fit in the society. When I was a child, I was mostly asked by people what I wanted to become in the future. The society I lived in was structured in a way that you are to either become a Doctor or a lawyer. it is one or the other That counts most. However, society is not the one supposed to make a decision. You should maintain who you are despite the number of voices you would hear telling you to do either one or the other. Do not lose your identity and doubt yourself as long as you do not get swayed then you are good to go.

Don’t fear what you do not know

The outcome of something is unknown to you until you undertake the cause. You do not know you would will a case in court until the court proceeding starts. That is the same way you would not know the outcome of a situation before you start the journey. My definition for FEAR is being afraid of an outcome you are unaware of. the outcome can either be good or bad. You would not know unless you try out to figure out if it is good or bad. You do not have to let your fear guide your life, rather you guard your fears and put them in check. Never think there is no way you can do it.

Listen to your gut and intuition

It is true that there are many voices in us that speak to us. but in situations, there is always one voice that we know we should listen to despite not knowing the outcome. If you have self-doubt, it will be very difficult to listen to yourself to know if the decision you will take is the right one. Instead of searching for a way to solve a problem or make plans towards your goals, you would rather be sending questions to your gut and intuition asking if you would be able to do it. it’s not bad to ask if you can do something, however, if you accept you can’t do it then there is a problem which should be solved by listening to your intuition.

Choose quality over quantity

This means find the one person who encourages you. Instead of the 1000 people who would either criticize or not believe in you that one person who does. You may know a lot of people but the one person who encourages and tells you it can be done and you can do it is better than having a lot of people in your life, Choose to spend quality with them and get more insight instead of being with the number of people in your circle.

Recognize you are not alone and don’t feel sorry for yourself

You may think a situation is unfair to you but any problem or situation you have has been dealt by someone before you and someone after you would through that since it’s the cycle of life. How you would relate to the situation and recognize that you are not alone will help you overcome your self-doubt. Don’t feel sorry for yourself. Should you join a class, you realize you would be in class with other whiles others have completed and reviewed. For this reason, we are to encourage ourselves.

Believe in yourself

If you do believe that you can do it, then there is no way you cannot do it. You may fall so many times in your quest to do what you are after. However, that does not mean its over and you cannot do it.  If you believe in yourself, your capabilities and what you have within you which is unique in its own way, then you would be able to overcome an enemy within including self-doubt.

A video from Women of impact on self-doubt.